So, I have this ex. This ex who told me that nobody could ever love me because I’m transgender. An ex who has dated 3 FTMs in a row, who forced me to open up our relationship to another FTM, who’s two best friends are trans (one MTF, one FTM)… An ex who now is transgender themselves. WHAT.
Ok, when I say now… Said ex has been in transition for about two years now. Only reason I know this is because said ex came into my old work and started talking about it. We aren’t friends, said ex just liked to brag to me about their life and how good it is after being with me. How they found the love of their life and how everything is fantastic. Except, I don’t care.
And why should I? Said ex also said the only reason I’m on hormones now is because of them… Except it was all me. I went to the walk-in clinic to get a referral, I got the appointment, I did the therapy…. It was me. It irked me at the time three years ago but now I just think it’s sad.
Anyway, point of this whole backstory: Not once in that almost-two year relationship did they ever mention they were trans to me. I’m not going to mention how they were specifically but it looked incredibly cisgendered to me. I also know that some people do that to compensate for not being internally ok with being trans. But honestly, with the things they said to me when we broke up, it’s extremely hard for me to believe they just decided to come out like that, right after our break-up. And almost immediately be on hormones, like they somehow didn’t have to go through the therapy and all the other hoops necessary.
That’s when I learned about this new “transtrender” craze. One that makes me very glad I live stealthy. Because other people I know have talked to me about this person, saying they’ve seen them around town and that they’ve “transitioned poorly” (which I honestly find to be rude, transtrender or not).. But these transtrenders seem to transition VERY publicly, just for the attention… Then decide they’re not into it months or years later and go back. Except, that’s a horrible idea because some of these changes are irreversible.
I recently saw a post on Facebook about a transtrender, saying they were transitioning, used a stock photo online of a bottle of testosterone, then made a post 6 hours later saying they were “going back to being a lesbian”…. Like being trans is a sexual preference. It blew my mind. I can’t even imagine doing something like that. I had to watch something similar in the Graves’ Disease Facebook group I’m in, but I’ll save that for the next post.
But yes, transtrenders exist. They give actual trans folk a bad name. And I can’t wrap my head around it…